it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
