Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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