I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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