Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
We don't watch enough power rangers
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
And then he peed in my hair
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