if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
