he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
