Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
