We named our party play list daddy issues
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
