I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
the day after is always just damage control
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
