Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize