So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
people are starting to question the shark bite story
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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