you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
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