you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
