Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
