No, drunk sperm still make babies.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
