Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
