:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Randomize
