she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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