SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
