Buhtt sex?
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Randomize