she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
