I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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