Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I need water and some morals
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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