I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
