cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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