Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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