2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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