What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
