If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Randomize
