haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Randomize
