What a fucking waste of an outfit
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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