Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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