Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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