I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
