Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
You were trust falling into bushes
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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