Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
