I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
you guys were way drunker than both of me
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
