Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
