I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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