So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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