You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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