I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
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