nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
