How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
