If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
