Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
