just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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