If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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