Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
