In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
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