I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
