he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
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