why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Randomize
