$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize