He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
