My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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