Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
