You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
